10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
.........1
(finally a proper countdown)
Zeus grits his teeth and holds his lightning bolt.
Teddae asked, "Hey, buddy. Won't da bolt electrocute you?"
"I AM GOD DAMMIT!" Zeus bellowed. "YOU AREN'T SO IT'LL ELECTROCUTE YOU INSTEAD!"
'heh' Teddae thought. He took out his chainsaw.
Now, kids, don't ever play with chainsaws. Well, don't do that even if the teddy bear in your home starts to grab a chainsaw and slice the air.
AND NOW, THE BATTLE BEGINS.
dingding! Round 1!
The gods gathered their popcorn, after they knew of the battle.
Teddae looked at Zeus. Zeus looked at Teddae. No one charged.
"Why didn't any side attack?" Hephaetus asked.
"Yeah, why didn't Zeus just start and kill that troublesome creep?" Demeter said.
"Why is my popcorn black in color?" Apollo asked.
"... You put it in the microwave for too long, idiot!!!" Artemis yelled.
The 2 continued to stand.
"They're strategizing," Athena explained. "No wise man ever charges in without any battle plan... Unless he's an idiot."(well the truth is, Teddae did that a lotta times. lol)
Teddae, just then, shoved his hand into his fur-hidden pocket.
"... Is he planning something...?" the gods wondered. Zeus tightened his defenses.
Teddae took something out... Is it an explosive? A gun?
It's a... ... hamburger.
"WHATTHECHEEZBURGER!!!" the gods yelled. Zeus's eyes popped out.
Teddae chewed on it. The gods looked closely... It may be a trap!
*epic tick tock music plays*
Teddae chewed and chewed... Zeus wondered, if the burger has magical properties.
Then, Teddae finished eating. He swallowed.
"Mmm... Ahh. That was a good meal. Sorry, Zeus. I'm hungry," Teddae grinned.
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!??!!?!?!??!!?" the gods all exclaimed. EATING IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIGHT!? they were more surprised than a superunlucky guy that suddenly finds himself surrounded by superpretty girls for no reason at all.
"DON'T MESS WITH MEEE!!!!" Zeus bellowed. "WHAT'S WITH THE-"
Teddae suddenly appeared in front of Zeus and grabbed Zeus's bolt while kicking him on the shin.
"You let your guard down, orang utan," teddae smirked.
Zeus bellowed with rage. "HOW COULD A STUPID, NO GOOD CUDDLY SOFT HARMLESS TEDDY BEAR BEAT-"
"Shuddup, Zeus, I'm a god." Teddae said. "I'm the god of summoning bears and... time."
*epic KHR music plays*
"You underestimated him, Zeus," Demeter whispered. "You do a better job and wipe that scoundrel off before I tell of our affair to Hera!"
"What... Aren't you afraid Demeter?" Zeus said.
"Shut up Zeus... You and your adultery, it has made me go to such lengths!!!"
Teddae heard Zeus. "HAHAHAHA!!! ZEUS!!! EUU GOT PWNED! EUU GOT PWNED!!! WHO ASK YOU TO COMMIT ADULTERY, EH!? EH!? YOU EVEN INVOLVED MORTALS!!! HAHAHA!" He laughed til his stomach dropped.
"... Is that true Zeus?" Hera, who was munching on potato chips walked elegantly down. She was kinda pretty, but well she's not asian so Teddae won't give any summer in the winter. Her look was sad.
"... I, uh..." Zeus started.
"YOU HAD AN AFFAIR WITH DEMETER!!??!?1/1?!?" Hera yelled. Her face was scary. Scarier than any horrifying female ghost you could find. Teddae gulped.
"... I can explain..."
"COME HERE!!!! YOU!!!!" Hera bellowed and dragged Zeus out of the ring.
The gods, instead of being disappointed, became terrified instead. Hera was certainly scary...
Just then they saw Ted and yelled, "HERE HE IS!!! CAPTURE HIM!!!"
Teddae froze time. "sigh," he sighed and jumped down to Greece, then travelled home.
He didn't beat Zeus in the end...
But at least he got his thunderbolt.
Labels: tedprodx
