One of my greatest wishes is to never exist.
Everytime, seeing other people just boost up and getting taller than me, I can't help but feel jealousy and enviness. I wished I could be like them... but time runs out quickly, and will soon leave me in a pool of tears and blood.
And so I wish for myself to never exist, never being in this world, never being weak and pampered when I knew that I will soon be a slave, never get caught in a storm, never have any emotions. I just don't want to exist, never be in this world.
No matter how hard I try, or how the situation gets, I will always be at the bottom of a pit, I will never climb up. I tried hard to substain my emotions but in the end they still appear, I tried so hard to maintain this attitude but in the end I still can't control myself; no matter how hard I try I never do it. So why live? Why still drag on? Wasting time? So in the end, I'd rather just give up and hope to never exist.
So that's it. I'm just a toy to people around me. I'm just another toy to the damned creator of this dratted world. I'm just a weak, useless freak that doesn't know how to draw stupid old diagrams.
I always wondered about happiness. To me, this feeling is bad. So what, does happiness always have to be a good feeling? It's just a freaking emotion. And don't start to throw some stories about happiness to me and persuade. It's usless.
It's just stupid; it's stupid how I feel EMO about writing this post. ****, I ABSOLUTELY HATE emotional stuff. It ****ing stinks to feel that way, and cus of the EMONESS of Pandora Hearts, it goddamn drags on. It sucks, man. I'm beginning to hate the series.
God, I'm talking about some goddamn comic and straying from the topic again.
Maybe Lebe is right about her post...
in the end, I just don't want to exist.
will delete this goddamned post one day
