Perhaps people's afraid of me. I do confirm that fear from my classmates, but I don't mind. After all, this is just another part of my life.
Throw some advice to me or whatnot, or tell me that interaction and good relationships are important. I don't care. It doesn't really matter to me, your opinion doesn't matter.
God, I'm gunna rattle on about some crap about my behaviour, so be prepared.
The main reason why I hate to interact with people, is because of the past. If you are my friend, after half a year you'd stay away from me. That's what my classmates did to me. They wanted to be my friend, then after that they'd stay away. I'm a really fierce person, and it's not a pretty sight. I did not have the same thinking as the others, and thus interaction gets difficult. And thus I had a resolve in my head when I left Primary school: Never make friends; you'll get too dependant. Just like the flower in the greenhouse. And let's not hurt ourselves from making friends.
Another reason why I'm like that; I can't control myself. Basically I get really mad and impatient at times and I show it. I can't be two-faced and continue smiling at people, as long as I get really mad at something. Well, unless I'm really tolerant or that person is someone I'd hate to get mad at. And by the way, even though you know I'm emotional, don't say it out loud, I'd get pretty mad over it... :(
Third thing, my thoughts revolve around face, just like any man. I have pride. I'd much rather shut the hell up and do my work rather than saying lame jokes and then get overwhelmed by another 'cool' person. This is not cool at all. Plus, my behaviour gets added to the weight on my shoulders. I don't behave like a normal person, I'm one of the people that !@#$ing 'god' of yours chose to be weird. Basically what I'm trying to say is, I think too much. I think so much more than the others. And thus I keep those thoughts to myself, cus people go away when they know what kind of person I really am.
I think that's all for the reasons why you're afraid of me.
In the beginning of the year my classmates asked me, "Aren't you lonely or something?" "no I'm not," I would reply. Yeah its true.
Well er... I DO get a bit lonely at times, but I swear to you, its pretty useful. I hate to suck up to people and get dependant on them. And I get hurt more around people than when I'm alone. Don't say that I get hurt too easily. I don't wanna hear that !@#$, I just am like that. Blame god.
Oh man I'm getting a bit more pissed off, but I'm surprised I tolerated. o.o
Anyway, basically I spend my time on the com(as you can SEE...) And drawing, and endorsed in my own imagination. Because I don't interact with real life people, I interact with my own imagination, my own comical imaginary friends. Even though I still think my words are pretty lame, I actually did it pretty well. And I use my words well at the computer, instead of my no-good mouth who's only good at eating satays and beef steak. OwO...
So... yeah. I guess you think it's wrong, right? Well... strangely I also think it's wrong, but I am a proud person after all...
OwO
P.S I smile at counters and hawker people when I'm buying their food or products to make them happy. I dunnno why O_.
